6 Reasons Why Some Men Leave After Sex

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In the intricate tapestry of modern relationships, love can be both a beautiful journey and a perplexing maze. As we navigate the emotional landscapes of romance, it’s essential to understand the factors that can lead to heartbreak. 

While every relationship is unique, there are common reasons why some men may choose to leave women after becoming intimate.

Here are six reasons that shed light on this phenomenon, offering insight into the complexities of love in today’s world.

1. Physical Attraction vs. Emotional Connection

In the age of instant gratification, many men may initially be drawn to physical attraction. However, once intimacy is achieved, they may realize that the emotional connection is lacking. Love is not solely about physical chemistry; it requires a deeper bond. If a man feels that the emotional connection is absent, he may choose to walk away, leaving the woman feeling confused and hurt. 

 2. Unpleasant Experiences vs. Post-Intimacy

Intimacy can be a beautiful expression of love, but it can also reveal unexpected realities. For some men, an unpleasant smell coming from a woman’s private parts after sex can be a significant red flag. While this may not be a reflection of the woman’s worth, it can lead to discomfort and a quick change in perception. Men may associate this experience with a lack of hygiene or health issues, causing them to distance themselves emotionally and physically. Secondly, it could also be associated with the man noticing you have had an affair with many men prior to making love. Men can quickly notice a promiscuous woman after having an affair with you. This can degrade your worth-- and thereby making them walk away silently.

3. Fear of Commitment

In today’s fast-paced world, the fear of commitment looms large. Some men may enjoy the thrill of intimacy but shy away from the responsibilities that come with a serious relationship. After sex, they may feel overwhelmed by the prospect of commitment and choose to retreat rather than confront their fears. This can leave women feeling abandoned and questioning their self-worth. In a nutshell, most men leave after satisfying their needs.

 They don't want any intimacy thereafter. Perhaps the only time they will talk to you again is when they need sex. This can only happen for two reasons:

1. When they don't have any intention to marry you at all; and/or;

2. When they realize that you're too cheap and available to sleep around with every man.

4. Desire for Variety

The modern dating landscape often encourages a mindset of exploration and variety. Some men may engage in relationships with multiple partners, seeking new experiences rather than long-term connections. After intimacy, they may feel that they’ve satisfied their curiosity and move on to the next person, leaving their partner feeling discarded. This behavior can be particularly disheartening for women seeking meaningful relationships. Men are scum in general-- they are always carried away but looks, shape, and beauty. It's very hard nowadays to find a man who is only committed to only one woman. Very hard to get. 

5. Misaligned Expectations

In many cases, men and women enter relationships with different expectations. While one partner may be seeking a deep emotional connection, the other may be looking for something more casual. After intimacy, if a man realizes that his expectations do not align with those of his partner, he may choose to leave rather than navigate the complexities of differing desires. This misalignment can lead to feelings of rejection and confusion for the woman involved. When a man is ready to marry and the woman is not ready, oftentimes, when he sleeps with you multiple times-- his chances of leaving are higher. Just very high because he enjoys your sexual company rather than having a deep emotional connection with you.

6. Influence of Social Media and Peer Pressure

In the digital age, social media plays a significant role in shaping perceptions of relationships. Men may feel pressure from their family/peers to maintain a certain image or lifestyle, leading them to prioritize casual encounters over meaningful connections. After intimacy, they may feel compelled to conform to societal expectations, choosing to leave rather than invest in a relationship that may not align with their perceived status. Just to add that what they see on social media-- and what is available in real life-- are very different. Most men are carried away by beautiful pictures women post on social media, using amazing filters. But when they meet them in real life-- and notice differences; they tend to lose interest in them quickly. Lastly, men do not want to marry social media ladies. They are the first type of women every man wishes to sleep with, fully knowing that they can never marry them. Never!

Conclusion

Love in today’s world is a multifaceted experience, filled with both joy and challenges. Understanding the reasons why some men leave women after intimacy can provide valuable insights into the complexities of modern relationships. While physical attraction and chemistry are essential, they must be accompanied by emotional connection and mutual understanding. 

For women navigating the dating landscape, it’s crucial to communicate openly about expectations and desires. Building a strong emotional bond can help foster lasting connections, ensuring that love transcends the fleeting moments of intimacy. Ultimately, love is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to embrace both the highs and lows along the way.

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The Girl Who Slept with Her Father-in-Law

A short story by Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe 

In the heart of Banjul, where the sun kissed the Atlantic Ocean and the streets buzzed with life, lived a young woman named Fatou. She was a vibrant soul, full of dreams and aspirations, but her heart felt heavy with the absence of her husband, Modou. Just three months after their wedding, Modou had left for studies abroad, leaving Fatou to navigate the complexities of life alone.

Fatou lived in a modest home on Kairaba Avenue, a street lined with palm trees and the sweet scent of mangoes. Her father-in-law, Alieu, was a kind and gentle man, known throughout the neighborhood for his generosity and warmth. He had taken it upon himself to look after Fatou during Modou's absence, ensuring she felt supported and cared for.

As the days turned into weeks, Fatou found solace in Alieu's company. He would often visit her, bringing fresh fruits from the market or sharing stories of his youth. Their conversations flowed effortlessly, and Fatou began to see Alieu not just as her father-in-law, but as a confidant and friend. He listened to her dreams, encouraged her ambitions, and made her laugh in ways she hadn’t felt since Modou left.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Fatou prepared dinner in the small kitchen. The aroma of jollof rice filled the air, and she hummed a soft tune, lost in her thoughts. Alieu arrived just as she was setting the table, his presence bringing a sense of comfort.

“Fatou, my dear,” he said, his voice warm and inviting. “It smells wonderful in here. You have a gift for cooking.”

“Thank you, Alieu,” she replied, a shy smile spreading across her face. “I hope you’re hungry.”

They sat down to eat, and the conversation flowed easily, punctuated by laughter and shared memories. As they finished their meal, Alieu leaned back in his chair, a contented sigh escaping his lips.

“You remind me so much of your mother-in-law,” he said, his eyes glistening with nostalgia. “She had the same spark in her eyes.”

Fatou felt a pang of sadness at the mention of Modou’s mother, who had passed away years ago. “I wish I could have known her,” she said softly.

Alieu reached across the table, placing his hand over hers. “She would have loved you, Fatou. You bring joy to our family.”

In that moment, something shifted between them. The air was thick with unspoken emotions, and Fatou’s heart raced as she felt the warmth of Alieu’s hand on hers. She pulled away, startled by the intensity of the moment, but Alieu’s gaze held her captive.

“Fatou,” he said, his voice low and sincere, “I know this is difficult for you. Modou’s absence weighs heavily on you, and I want you to know that you’re not alone.”

Fatou’s breath caught in her throat. She had been feeling lonely and vulnerable, and Alieu’s kindness was a balm to her aching heart. “Thank you, Alieu. It means a lot to me.”

As the days turned into weeks, their bond deepened. Alieu would often come by to check on Fatou, bringing her favorite snacks or helping her with household chores. They shared stories, laughter, and moments of silence that spoke volumes. Fatou found herself drawn to Alieu in ways she hadn’t anticipated, and the lines between familial affection and something more began to blur.

One rainy afternoon, as the skies poured down in a symphony of thunder and lightning, Fatou found herself curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her. Alieu had come over, seeking refuge from the storm. They sat together, the sound of rain creating a cozy atmosphere.

“Do you remember the stories I told you about my youth?” Alieu asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Fatou nodded, a smile playing on her lips. “Yes, the one about the mischievous monkey!”

Alieu chuckled, his laughter filling the room. “Ah, that monkey was quite the troublemaker. But it taught me the value of laughter and joy in life.”

As the rain continued to fall, Fatou felt a warmth spreading through her. She looked at Alieu, his face illuminated by the soft glow of the lamp, and for the first time, she saw him not just as her father-in-law, but as a man—an attractive, caring man who had been there for her when she needed someone the most.

“Alieu,” she said softly, her heart racing, “thank you for being here for me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He turned to her, his expression serious yet tender. “Fatou, you deserve happiness. I want you to know that I feel the same way."

End of part one. Will be continued.

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The Teranga of Senegambia - poem by Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe

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In the heart of Senegambia, where rivers embrace,  

Cultures entwine, a vibrant tapestry of grace.  

From the rhythms of the kora to the taste of jollof rice,  

Unity in diversity, a bond that feels so nice.

The sabarr beats, the mbalax dances,

Football binds us together, winning become chances. 

With shared histories and languages that flow,  

Together we flourish, in harmony we grow.  

In villages bustling, laughter fills the air,  

A celebration of life, a love beyond compare. 

From Marchè Sandaga to Marchè Serekunda, the price of fish is the same.

Our funeral is your cry, our tears your shame.

Senegal and The Gambia, hand in hand they stand,  

A testament to friendship, a beautiful land.   In the dance of the sun, where the ocean meets the shore,  

Two nations united, their spirits forever soar.  

From the whispers of the baobab to the call of the call-and-response,  

A rich heritage flows, in every song and every glance.  

The Gambian smiles, warm as the golden sand,  

Senegal's embrace, a welcoming hand.  

In the heart of Casamance, where the mangroves sway,  

Bakau's nature's beauty thrives, in a vibrant display.  

Together they weave stories of struggle and pride,  

When The Gambia sneezes, Senegal is standing side by side.  

From the Mandinka songs that echo through the night,  

To the Wolof tales that dance in morning light,  

Their laughter and their stories, like the rivers, entwine,  

A chemistry of kinship, in every heart, they shine.

Note: On April 4, 2025, Senegal proudly celebrates its 65th Independence Day, honoring the resilience and bravery of its people in their fight for freedom from colonial rule. As the afternoon sun sets on this special day, the spirit of independence shines brightly in the hearts of all Senegambians. The poem is dedicated to all Senegambians. 

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