Saturday, December 26, 2020

3 Situations Men HAVE To Lie To Women


It’s no surprise that both genders rely on lying to some extent in a relationship or even marriage. They do it differently and sometimes for different reasons.

All humans, especially women, say they want their partners to be honest. Is this the truth? Can you keep a relationship up and running if you are telling the truth all the time?

Imagine that you just have brought your girlfriend to your home, to spend the night together for the first time. You have made a great effort to arrange and clean your home and especially the bedroom. You are proud of this, and ask your partner what she believes about your home. 

She responds, “It is a little old-fashioned… and who owns that lipstick in your room?”. Ups! Ok.

If she were to say just two little lies, everything could be great, but now…



While women love honest people, they don't like a guy who always tell them the truth. They take you to be a fool or trash - and women do love and like those men who beat them. Piss them off and treat them with all sort of disrespect. Those are guys they love and end up marrying.

According to research, over 80% of African women end up marrying the man who don't truly love them. That's because they must leave the man who truly loves them for the one who just love them.

While I am not encouraging telling lies to any woman/ women; the truth is, telling a few lies can be one of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy. Why? to avoid problems and breakups. 

So if you want to keep her happy and keep getting laid, you’re going to have to learn how to lie positively – and lie convincingly. The trick is figuring out what she wants to hear always. It could just be as weird as a joke that goes like ..... you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world ( Astagfurllah) because even the hens know this statement is a lie. Yet, she smiles and appreciate your kind words. 

1. Never mention your sexual past… especially if it was a good one. If your girlfriend/wife asks you what it was like or how good your ex was, you can tell a lie if you have to. Say it wasn’t all that good. Don’t ever mention her. Even if what you’re saying is uncomplimentary, it will still have a negative effect. You bringing her up hints that she’s still on your mind.

2. When it comes about how she looks, if you picked her to be your partner, you have to make her feel that she is a WOMAN. Every woman has something beautiful, something sexy and attractive, and if you make her know that you find her attractive she will be more confident, wilder and more passionate. But when she asks you about something you don’t really like at her look, never but never tell her your true opinion. Just say that it is OK and pass over the moment. If you are telling her that you don’t like something at her, she will feel frustrated and become more inhibited.

3. Everybody knows that women have more sensibility than men. So pay attention to her sensibility and don’t make bad jokes about other people (especially her family) or let her know when you are up to take the cat and throw it out through the window. She will find you insensitive and you will lose points. Use your common sense and try not to hurt your woman's feelings even if you have to say a little lie from time to time.

Overall, lying is a bad thing to do. But when it comes to women, you have no choice.

The little white lies don’t hurt anyone and are only meant as reassurance now and then.

It’s therefore okay to tell a person what they want to hear.

(Disclaimer: this article is not encouraging you to tell lies to women)


Thanks for visiting my blog. Let me know what you think about my writings. I do appreciate your feedback. Ring or text +220 7791631 or email: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com


Please click on the link to subscribe to my channel:


https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzTi_76DmGtuAdXYfhkHCwQ

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Why We Date

As human beings, we have what can be considered some of the strangest mating rituals in the animal kingdom. Most species hook up with members of the opposite sex to procreate and nothing else. There is no emotional bond that ties them together for the rest of their lives other than the need to continue the species. 



Now that’s not to say that all animals are like this, there are some species out there that do mate for life, but the overall percentage of those types are small. Sure, you can say that many animals have mating rituals that rival ours. There are male birds that flaunt their colorful plumage trying to attract a female, but is that dating or just a type of seduction? 


And in the end, isn’t that what going on dates is all about, seducing that someone we’ve had our eye on. Dating is a form of seduction, only for us humans it can sometimes take a much longer time for the desired results to be had. In the animal world there is a specific time of the year when seduction and mating can take place, and except for humans, dolphins and some primates, animals' mate to continue their species and not for the pure pleasure of it. For most animals, it is the drive to survive as a species. We humans have taken the whole dating/seduction ritual to unforeseen heights. 


Most humans fall in love to satisfy their sexual desires. Did you know an accident don't stop traffic? It happens because people won't see it. 



Just think of all the things we do to try and impress that special someone. And why do we want to impress them? Because we think we like them, and if we don’t do our best to seduce them using all sorts of dating tricks and techniques, then, someone else will - and that’s just not acceptable. 


So why do we date? 


 To impress someone, we are interested in? I would say yes on that one. I can’t think of any other reason to spend that kind of time and money other than to do just that. To continue the human species? This is a far more subjective question. 



Do we need more humans on the world? That’s debatable. I think for the majority of humans it’s for a little more selfish reasons and that’s to have someone come after us who carries the family name onward into the future. Just for the fun of it? Now here’s whole another way to look at it. Meeting new people is fun. Particularly if you are attracted to them. Dating is fun and it introduces us to whole new ways of thinking and approaching people. The why do we date question is a hard one to answer, but whatever your reasons maybe it’s a part of what makes us human. 




Tuesday, July 28, 2020

55 Inspirational Love Quotes To Make Gambian Women Fall in Love




1. The reason why Gambian music will not go is because Gambian artistes don't sing a song for you. You're the ritual to Gam-music because Jizzle sang for Jalika, but ST should sing for Binta. 🤣

2. You make me feel like a born - again Christian; your love will make me die on the cross ➕. 🤣

3. My Sugar Lips, nothing pleases me than hearing compassionately meaningful words from a lady of grit and forestall like you.

4. My sweetenedly condensed milky sugar, "man yamai reey". Don't leave the leaf in my leaflet alone in the night. I speak in tongues for the love in me is big enough to hide you in my world. 🤗

5. The difference between a good girl and a bad girl is that good girls are very selective with who they’re bad with. "Doo sen morom teh danga ova saff horom. Ya reey Gamcel teh Yaay Borom." 🤣😂

6. I've never met anyone as incredible as you. You're the cross in every crossroads in this country, and you always make me smile like Jesus Christ. 🤣

7. I’ve longed to send this write-up to you for a while now, letting you know what I feel inside. You gave me all I need to make my life glow. I know I’d cover a book if I start to write everything you did.

8. I write as the writer in me with tears in my heart, fears in my eyes, blood in my hands, and discomfort in my brain to shout out to you the word "I MISS YOU" in capital letters. I think this might worth your attention, don't you? What's love for me without you?

9. Yоu are worth more than gоld
Yоur bеаutу iѕ оbviоuѕ fоr everyone tо bеhоld
In mаritаl union уоur hаndѕ I wаnt to hоld
I’ll lоvе уоu in mу уоuth and whеn we аrе both old
Distance might bе a hindrаnсе, but love brings uѕ сlоѕеr and bound оur hеаrtѕ till forever.

10. I'm mentally and excruciatingly dying to tell you "danga over rafet". Your love is grossly exerting happiness in my heart. 

11. Delicious my sugar sauce, I just want you to know that my love for you is as frazzle as it's arduous. The joy of our gobbets of honesty and laughter - is as beautiful as astrophotography. 

12. Lady Luck, I had my heart pounded and attacked by your love - call that love-soup. I had my mind sexy like your bra , call that mind defense!

13. When I was in high school, my English-literature teacher once told me that I'll find a beautiful woman who'll love me beautifully. I didn't know you're the one until I open my English dictionary and saw the word - YOU.

14. The way I love you cannot be a lie because even if I sit up straight, I cannot lie. 

15. When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found. My spirit is layoff and laughing because I found you.

16. You're the bones in me and the boundary that bonds us together is stronger because your lips taste so strong.

17. Bae, to effortlessly ignite a very strong bond of connection, take some time out to appreciate what I appreciate about you, and understand why you've all my respect because you'll.

18. What will beauties like you be learning any further if not to be more beautiful? No doubt, all the first ladies The Gambia had, have their names begin with a consonant because you're the only vowel I know. 🤣

19. My heart is pumping deoxygenated blood to my head for being so hungry to eat your food and missing you. 

20. Nevermore will dreams expire.
Keep it burning, guard the fire.
Hold my hand and don't let go.
Feel my heart and you will know, what you should know, is that I love you.

21. Tell me what's love without you? And tell me why my blood smells anytime I hear your name?

22. You're my incandescent lamp and the only torch to my soul! Come and light my world, you beautiful lighter.

23. I want to say good morning to you in a very sweet way.
Swingeing into the barnacles of the sun as it opened its God-fearing eyes, the bees whizzed the honey and sucked the drizzle, the programme perimeters of my chin stood erected in gloucestershire for just thinking about someone like you this morning and smiling with laughter. I can't get my mind off you.

24. Climaxing as I tightly squeeze
Grabbing you as I please
Biting your lips just to tease
I feel weak in my knees
Good morning, sweetheart.

25. Hey beautiful. ...
I was just thinking about how wonderful you are. ...God, your laugh is incredible. You're everything to me. I'm counting down the minutes until I get to see you.

26. The Landlord of My Heart, beautiful you. How are you doing today my Queeny Goddess of Beauty and Gorgeousness?

27. The bidding of two different people with very similar characters and trails, united or living together in the name of love, as one, for eternity. For good or bad - for better, or for worse. That's the place our love is heading to.

28. I lance for your thighs on mine and your lips favourably pairing mine. Come and pair my device "yowtamit"! 

29. Love me just the way I am, and I'll cherish you just the way you want. Take me as your dream man and I'll make your dreams come true.

30. How a changed man I've been since I met you? Now my life has changed for good. I laugh more,
I give more, I eat more and I feel so loved just because of you.

31. You are my happiness, my heart’s desire, my everlasting flame, the one that makes my heart beat fast. My love, my sweet in the middle, I cannot think for a second without you in my mind. I cherish you, princess of beauty.

32. Heaven does not always mean a place to be in. Sometimes it’s a person to be with. For me, heaven is being with you all the time! But you're useless and I must tell you because I miss you so much. 

33. Love is a risk; either you sink in it or it sinks you. For me, I have deeply drowned in the love that I have for you. Thank you for giving me this unconditional love.

34. My love for you is hard work. If loving you was a job, I’d be the most deserving, dedicated, and qualified candidate. I’d even be willing to work for free! 🤣😂

35. I hope you will receive this message with lots of happiness and smiles? As the hot afternoon breeze touches you, always have it in mind desirably that someone faraway is insanely thinking about you - yes, "yowla", only you.

37. When rivers begin to dry, when love begin to die & the stars would begin to fade. When hatred hates, when the lips lie and the blind can see, just remember, I will never forsake you. I'll always love you and you - I mean.


38. What ancestors did you summon to the summit? My heart was broken at the AU Summit. 
To give me what I needed, what you need to take from me is all my heart - here it's take it. 

39. I like the caesura you deliberately make in contextuality of my dramatic irony.
Equally, I like the brevity in your sensation. Your love is burning my heart, daily I burn. 

40. If fasting was you, I'll never be hungry because your lips are the best "Ndougou" ever cooked on planet earth. Which of our planets are you from "sah"? That's why you look so mercy and dark chocolate brown like Mercy Johnson. 🤗 

41. "Naam Sama Yeuf", I'm just missing you so much and thinking about you in utopia. I miss your smiles and sweetness on the screen of my phone. 

42. My milk, my woman and my sweet tamarind juice, I'm always reminiscing the day I'll set my eyes on you and must certainly have goosebumps.

 You're the reason Moses crossed the Red Sea. Come and cross my river with your wig. 😂

43. I'll start collecting royalties for my induction on intellectual property rights by richly making your heart smile with laughter of derogatory, anytime you read my texts. Are you not yourself an angel from the above?

44. Good morning my expensive Apple Milk... I’m an excellent sounding board for venting. This text is good for one back rub, redeemable whenever and wherever you may by chance, need a holistic massage. 

45. One thing I know is that our love can last forever, why? Because it is stronger than the most muscular wrestler. Even Balla Gaye, lol. 🤣

46. I love a woman like you who is her religion is religious , in her kindness is kind, in her obedience is obedient, and her ability to help me in my career and her indifference with money and society is impressive. Come and rape my wealth. Lol 😂 

47. Queeny Goddess of Beauty, 
I'd like you to know that you're one of those who always smile whenever you read my messages. Why? Because you'd know I've the power of words. It would crush me if I ever lost you.

48. Underneath your baobab tree, I want to be your only tree - and your only one, two, three.. Lol. 

49. If sweet words can kill, my wife will be the first person to die. If you don't believe what I'm saying, go and ask the person reading this if she's not laughing.

50. I'm missing you horrifically and badly. I'd miss your sweet scent that's so you. Won't your heart direct you to me? Don't you know I'm feeling you?

51. I'm so lucky that I'll not buy TV in my house because you're more interesting than GRTS and QTV. I'll never stop watching your programmes because you alone can make my heart smile. Lol

52. You deserve to laugh every day my Distinguished Queen. Here is your crown 👑 to wear 🤗

53. Your silent and breathless laughs have given shape to all the lovely memories I wanted to have in a woman.
The love I have for you will last until the NAWEC becomes NOOR. You're the reason NAWEC constantly off our lights because you're too luminous. 🤣 Don't ever off your light! 

54. You deserve to be treated like a queen and love like a mother. 

55. Sweetness, my only goddess of milk and sugar, you're making me drink Café Touba without sugar because your lips taste better. I like your caffeine. 



Inspirational quotes written by Gambian author and scholar, Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe (ML Sowe), Executive Director, World Writers Association (WoWA). 

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Young Professional Gambians You Should Know and Hire


Are you looking for young Gambian professionals to hire?

With so much passion and recently attained knowledge, young Gambian professionals often get booted to the side when it comes to filling positions in their desired field. They end up with a job at a retail store directly after college, or hold onto a profession that’s remotely related to their studies as they continue their tiresome job search.

In The Gambia thousands of students graduate annually with a Bachelor’s degree, and that means lots of fresh talent for those companies looking to hire. So why is a seasoned worker preferred over a recent college or university graduate? Young Professionals can be useful to your company as a fresh pair of eyes and insightfulness into how your office or business works.

Often, a mind unpolluted by the sections and divisions existent can bring unity to a workspace. Even more so, they can be molded and instructed to the employer’s liking. This fosters a culture that does not produce conflicts as a result of previous work experience or knowledge attained from previous employers on how an office should work.

These are the young Gambian talents we can recommend:


DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS AND EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

IMG-20200601-WA0020.jpg

Saidou AA Bah alias Saidou Anna Ibn Ahmad or The Humble Pen is a qualify teacher, aspiring writer and motivational speaker. He obtained his HTC Certificate ( Higher Teachers' Certificate) at The Gambia College in 2014. Mr Bah is the Youth Representative and Social Media Manager of the Writers Association of The Gambia (WAG). Saidou is also the current deputy coordinator of the Writers Space Africa- Gambia Chapter. Phone +220 3405778, Email aaone1@gmail.com


ACCOUNTANT AND ADMINISTRATOR

IMG_20200603_012300.jpg

Haddy Janko graduated from Masroor Senior Secondary School in 2018, and she is currently majoring accounting at The University of The Gambia (UTG). She is an aspiring writer and an accountant. Phone +2203790297, Email jankohaddy@gmail.com


EVENT COORDINATOR

IMG-20200602-WA0053.jpg

Harry Bah ( Harry Potter) is the author of The Bleaching Girl and she is a final year student at Nusrat Senior Secondary School. Harry loves reading and she is very passionate about writing. She is a member of the Writers Association of The Gambia ( WAG) and the Young Writers Association of The Gambia (YWAG) respectively. Phone +220 7124111, Email bahharry13@gmail.com


LEGAL CONSULTANT AND DIRECTOR OF THE CREATIVE INDUSTRIES


IMG-20200603-WA0001.jpg


Jainaba Danso is an aspiring lawyer and a writer. She obtained a Higher National Diploma in Law at The Gambia Technical and Training Institute, and she is currently an undergraduate law student at The University of The Gambia (UTG). Email Jdansojula@gmail.com, Phone +220 3381115


MARKETING AND COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER

IMG_20200603_013136.jpg

Mariama Jammeh is a poet, aspiring writer and English teacher. She is a finalist of the Covid-19 Online Poetry Contest organized by Poetry Cafe in collaboration with the Writers Association of The Gambia (WAG). She has produced several videos of spoken word poetry and she attended Mahaad Senior Secondary School. She is currently pursuing an advance diploma certificate and majoring English and S.E.S. at The Gambia College. Email jammehmariama686@gmail.comPhone +220 2981160


PUBLICITY AND SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER

IMG_20200603_013225.jpg

Kadijatou Jallow (Poet KJ) was schooled in Ivory Coast where she learned French before continuing her educational in The Gambia. She is a poet, an actress, first aider, a radio presenter and the vice president of Home of Talent Gambia (HOT). KJ is currently attending Nusrat Senior Secondary School. Phone +220 3474625, Email jkadijtou1@gmail.com


POETRY AND YOUTH CONSULTANT

nk.jpg

Omar NK Ceesay (1996) is an emerging Gambian poet , spoken word artist and aspiring writer. He has performed on notable stages in The Gambia. Omar is well known by his poet name, NK The Hero Poet. He attended Mingdaw Upper and Senior Secondary School and he is currently the Press and Information Secretary of the Young Writers Association of The Gambia (YWAG). NK is a member of the Writers Association of The Gambia (WAG), also an actor, a poet, novelist and playwright.  Email heroceesay6@gmail.com, Phone +220 5091861


We invite you to browse this website and explore the many opportunities of joining the VOP.

© All Rights Reserved! Thank you for reading and following my blog. Should you wish to use any of my articles for research, lectures, personal use, etc, kindly address your message to: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com.

My special wishes for you! To schedule or book me for public lectures/ book launches/ conferences/ readings/ script-writing/ keynote/motivational speaking events, please email: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com

Kindly visit my mobile-friendly author website on this link :


e Copying any of my articles without a written permission to, is an infringement of Copyright.

Monday, May 4, 2020

Introducing The Two Mentees of The Voice of The Pen 2020


1. Begay Jane

Begay Jane was born on February 15 2003 in Bundung, The Gambia.

She is an aspiring writer, a poet and a member of the Writers Association of The Gambia (WAG).

She's currently attending St Joseph's Senior School School in Banjul. Begay in grade ten and studying arts. Her pen name is Tha Lil Poet.





MY HOME 🇬🇲

My home is peaceful
The people are beautiful
And they are so faithful.

My home contains different kinds of people
But we still help and guide each other
Working together and defending the nation side by side
Even when one lacks the means.

We are blessed with our black melanin skin
Living side by side in a minimum inter tribal friction
Each preserving it's own language, music, cultural tradition, and even caste system.


With the dramatic beauty of the Atlantic coastline, picturesque beaches fringed by palm tress.


My home is known for its pride
Its hospitable people far and nearby
My love for my home will not fade away.


Begay Jane, alias Tha Lil poet ✍🏿



2. Bubacarr Jabbie

Bubacarr Jabbie was born in Nema-Kunku village on June 23 2002.

He's 17 years old and currently attending Charles Jow Memorial Academy in Bundung.

Jabbie is in grade ten and studying commerce. He's an aspiring writer and a poet. He's also a member of the Writers Association of The Gambia (WAG).



THE STORY OF MY LIFE

I speak of the one who was found from a fetish foundation,
I am more than a star I am a legend.
I hold the records of the world because I am black.

From the rising of the sun to the setting of the moon,
From daytime to the night including the noon,
From the months to the weekend, the story of my life is my inspiration.

Sometimes people look at me and say:
"You're too old to be new, too empty to be full, too rusty to be used and too starchy to be moved.
You are who you are; you need to make yourself you to become who you are
Be outstanding and be unique."

Even the weather cannot determine when it will rain,
It's not that I don't want to be happy, but I feel suffocated, embarrassed, and ashamed about anything not me
Not my iving has become the constant nightmare.
And it is said that 'if you don't speculate you won't accumulate',
That's why ST said "niyamoi keloo-tehbanna, woto sayaa lemang fatarokeh."

BUBACARR JABBIE, alias The Silent Poet


Friday, April 10, 2020

Sohorr ak Íŋyaŋ: 5 Reasons Why The Gambia is Underdeveloped



A seed grows without noise but a tree falls with a big noise. Destruction has noise but creation is silent. That is the power of knowledgeable people living in a country. The fastest way to become very knowledgeable in The Gambia, is to say nothing before you're sure you said something. Before you try to put out a wildfire on a mountain, go and ask the hunter how it started. How people naturally are, that's exactly the type of leader God chooses for them. But that can only be known and understood by those with wisdom - especially divine wisdom. It's only in the Gambia people celebrate you when you die and jealously fight you when you're alive - even if you did nothing to them. In The Gambia, I see public speakers who don't acknowledge people's words when they use them and don't give credits or quote them in their speeches. As if that's not enough: it is only in The Gambia you'll see people become writers for the sake of writing for 'presidential gains' or write for fame, - or see self-proclaimed journalists who know nothing about journalism.


If you want to see musicians who don't actually know music, rappers who don't make sense at all, comedians who can't make anyone laugh, and see people who always start what they cannot finish; come to The Gambia. In addition, in case you are looking for cabinet ministers who can't correctly address any public, leaders and directors without visions, The Gambia is the place for your research. Mind you, if you want to see women working in high offices they don't deserve at all, for example, if you're interested in seeing what happens the very moment one becomes a permanent secretary or a cabinet minister; the answer is: he immediately marries a second wife, or add more wives-- and forget his past. Why will people who can help you when you're alive wait until you die before they can buy you a bag of rice?


Do you know why The Gambia is underdeveloped? Because of these reasons:


1. Jealousy and Hatred,

2. Tribalism,

3. Hypocrisy and Pride;

4. Discrimination and;

5. Whom You Know.


Lessons to learn about The Gambia and Gambians: when Sir Dawda Kairaba Jawara died, the entire country celebrated him, but ignored him when he was alive. In The Gambia, people always want to know your problem but will never help you solve them. They always want to know what you're up to so that they can destroy it. People you don't share the same school with never celebrate you because they always claim they don't know you. They don't succeed in what they are doing, and so, intend the same for those succeeding. Jobs are based on 'Whom You Know' and not what you know. Politics in The Gambia is based on tribalism ( tribal-politics). Gambians take too much pride but they never made it to the World Cup. The Wollof word 'Sohorr ak Íŋyaŋ'; which loosely translates in Mandinka as 'Haasidia ning Jaawya', are but the very reasons our country is underdeveloped.


It breaks my heart heartrendingly, it sources the rivulets of my eyes painstakingly, and it concerns me patriotically, whenever I see highly talented people wasting in The Gambia. Like I said in my poetry book ( Temple of Wisdom), if you go to a country where people eat in their eyes, don't eat with your nose. If the eye cannot see what the heart encounters, the mind knows best. Let me still take back my quotations: the secret of the mouth is best known by the chewing stick.


What else do I see with my silent eyes anytime I join public transport or go out, I see that what you study in school, and what you end up becoming, are not even the same In The Gambia. I see the River Gambia lacking fish and the turtles living on land. I see hard working men and women who are very poor but very respectful and religious. I even noticed that I see the sick curing those very well, I see potential youths who're jobless, I see teachers teaching our children satanism, and our education system dominated by foreign books and foreign teachers. Should I add that I also see married men and public officials sleeping around with young girls in hotels? Maybe, I should also mention married women sleeping around with men.


Ask me what else do I see? I see people mistake indecent dressing for awareness, such that a dress meant for the bedroom, will be worn and taken to the market. I see police officers who don't know the law, I see that the culture of peace, love and unity I left in my country four years ago, is not the same at all. I see the culture of silence-- and silence then became the culture. I see women raped and their rights violated. I see what's wrong being considered very right. And I see the blind leading the deaf, I see knowledgeable people who're silent with their wisdom, I see a nation without a fence and citizens driving around in the car of lost.


Finally, I realize that those we term knowledgeable don't know anything.


Gambians will only celebrate you when you die. I know people in relationships who love someone else but still in the same relationship. I know people who love each other but aren't meant to together.


So, my point is, everything in life happens according to the timing of God. Don't look at some of your friends and think that they're ahead of you. Maybe, some of them are only enjoying everything here and won't have absolutely nothing at all in the life Hereafter.




 Hope you learn something from this bitter-truth?


© All Rights Reserved! Thank you for reading and following my blog. Should you wish to use any of my articles for research, lectures, personal use, etc., kindly address your message to: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com. My special wishes for you!


To schedule or book me for public lectures/ book launches/ conferences/ readings/ script-writing/ keynote/motivational speaking events, please email:


 modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com



Copying any of my articles without a written permission to, is an infringement of Copyright.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Marriage and Divorce in The Gambia




Have you ever asked yourself why divorce is rampant in the Gambia? It's because of the lack of sexual intimacy and many more things we'll discuss here.

Sadly, newlywed couples are separating every month in the Gambia with a velocity that is unstoppable but not unquestionable. Why marriage in the first place? Because it is a social necessity—because through marriage, families are established—and the family is the fundamental unit of our society. Furthermore, marriage is the only legitimate or 'halal' way to indulge in intimacy between a man and a woman. The Gambia, the Smiling Coast of Africa, which smiles because of its women, is a place where women have fewer financial means, lower living standards, and less equality with men.

Something isn't just right at all for Gambian women.

The most common causes of divorce in the Gambia are:

  • Unfaithfulness in Marriages.
  • High expectations...
  • Lack of trust...
  • Interference from Third Parties (In-Laws).
  • Lack of sexual intimacy
  • Lack of communication.
  • Abuse and domestic violence...

This article gives you an insight into why, how, when, and whom Gambian women want to choose or marry. They demand respect and love. And when their husbands fall short, one should know that it is not only Gambian women who are the ones driving this new culture of breakups. Men, too, and their families contribute to over 65% of divorces in the Gambia.

More recently, having spoken with academics, GBoS, and Family Planning representatives, it is estimated that in 2018, the lifelong probability of a marriage ending in divorce is 60%–50%.

How?

1. THE IN-LAWS': Interference from Third Parties

In most marriages in the Gambia, the family of the man gives Gambian women tough times in their marriages. This suddenly leads to conflicts or divorces. This is very common in extended families where the man, for example, is the breadwinner of the family. But, yes, women also play a key role in divorces in the Gambia—we don't expect a woman to come into a family and separate them. Make a man disrespect his mother and hate his own family. The general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love each other, produce children, and live in peace and tranquility according to the commandments of Allah.

Marriage serves as a means of emotional and sexual gratification and as a means of tension reduction. It is also a form of Ibadah (worship) because it is part of obeying Allah and his messengers, i.e., marriage is seen as the only possible way for two sexes (male and female) to unite. One could choose to live in sin; however, by choosing marriage, one is displaying obedience to Allah. In case you are wondering how in-laws ruin marriages in the Gambia, you should know that they make a man hate his wife or mistreat her.

They control everything about their son's marriage and jealously watch over his wife. Especially if the in-laws do not accept the marriage at the beginning—and/or you still went into it—they make you live in the very depths of hell. Not only in-laws, sometimes it could even be friends. Your very best friends can ruin your marriage in the Gambia.

Who?

2. THE SEMESTERS AND HIGH EXPECTATIONS:

Young women now go into marriages with certain expectations. If these expectations are not met at some point, then divorce is inevitable. Most Gambian women prefer semesters as husbands; as a result, there is always a breakdown of communication, which eventually leads to separations because Gambian women desire to be loved, touched, and spoiled with affection rather than bathed in money. To add expensive fuel to the hot engine of dissatisfaction, most students who make some money abroad will just hurriedly come back home and get married within two weeks or so. How on earth do you expect such marriages to work well for eternity?

The rabbit eats carrots, but he knows that the sweet potato is sweeter, says Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe.

Sexual intimacy can grab your wife, and she needs to get it. My brother, imagine your wife is a virgin, and you already made her know a man, and you left her here and returned to Europe or the USA. Now that your wife has a car, big houses, she owns a shop with good business, etc., don't you think something very important is fundamentally missing?

And if she sits for 6 months plus and she doesn't get it (satisfaction), bros, you're in trouble. Thunder fire you there for thinking because you even send her money every month. That's why she can sit and wait for you for the next 5 years or more. Are you not yourself questionable? How do you hold yourself there for six months, sometimes two years, or more? Can you swear to the Holy Qur'an that you never touched any woman there? Sir, let's talk about your wife now. I'm done with you! Let's talk about unfaithfulness in marriage. From what I cited above, she can be unfaithful to you because women think sex is food. Not all of them, though, to be honest. The world is now all about sex and temptation.

When women sit patiently and wait for several months or years, If things don't work well for them, they begin to drink pills. But that's the least they can do. Imagine they dress so fine every day and drive to work or just walk down to the market, and no man even tells them you're beautiful for six months. And one day, 'ndeysaane', she goes to the market, and one foolish boy tells her, 'yannyi nice', she will be flattered, and that's the beginning of something. Most marriages don't work because there is either no trust or no satisfaction. At least, if a woman is a virgin, she can control herself a bit, but someone you made a woman and left her here just like that is impossible. But not all of them, because some of them are good women and can control themselves. But listen,'some', I said.

Why?

3. FINANCIAL PROBLEMS AND CONFLICTS.

A man should not marry if he does not have the means of maintaining a wife and a future family, if he has no sex drive, if he dislikes children, or if he feels the marriage will seriously affect his religious obligation. But most Gambian men, especially the semesters, don't think about this. They will just come home with some money and do a very big wedding, which will be the talk of the country for months, and upon their return, problems will start surfacing in their marriages, especially financial problems. Women love men who are loyal to them, but my brother, if you come home and spend money like Dangote on your wedding day, you already rang a bell that must continue ringing in your marriage. And when your wife discovers that things are not working in her favor, she either cheats on you or takes a divorce. I think it is better to do a very simple wedding where there is true love and respect. That, she can understand. She will know what you have or lack. And in so doing, she might patiently wait for you until you return or have something better. But if you have already shown her the other way around upon your return to Europe or the USA, you hardly send her money; that's your fault, not the woman. The general principle is that the prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) enjoined his followers to marry. He said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." This hadith is narrated by Anas. Islam greatly encourages marriage because it shields one from and upholds the family unit, which Islam places great importance on.

What?

4. SELECTING WRONG PARTNERS

Over the years, Gambian women will shun pious men of integrity and marry semesters. But now they are giving that a second thought. After a few years in their marriages, they will realize that they have selected the wrong partner, and so the marriage will be ruined. The choice of a partner should be the one with the most "taqwa" (piety). The prophet S.A.W. recommended the suitors see each other before going into marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing about each other. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the Gambia to understand this point. e.g., couples that have known each other for years, are intimate, live together, and so on, yet somehow, this does not guarantee the success of their marriages. Romance and love simply to do not equate to an everlasting bond between two people.

Fact: Romance and love die out very quickly when we have to deal with the real world. The unrealistic expectations that young people have are what often contribute to the failure of their relationships.

This is because people are blinded by physical attraction and, thus, do not choose a compatible partner. Love blinds people to potential problems in a relationship. There is an Arabic saying that says, "The mirror of love is blind.".

Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions but rather on a critical evaluation of the compatibility of couples. This is why they often prove successful. Most marriages in the Gambia got ruined because of incompatibility. How can an ordinary Android charger charge an iPhone? Impossible!

Therefore, marriage requires finding the right person you are compatible with and ready to spend the rest of your life with. Although most people encounter challenges because they marry extremely beautiful women whom every man wants or the most handsome men every woman wants for herself, as a result, there is always misunderstanding, jealousy, lack of trust, etc.

 

© All Rights Reserved! Thank you for reading and following my blog. Should you wish to use any of my articles for research, lectures, personal use, etc., kindly address your message to: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com. Copying any of my articles without written permission is an infringement of copyright.

My special wishes to you! To schedule or book me for public lectures, book launches, conferences, readings, scriptwriting, keynotes, or motivational speaking events, please email:

modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com

 


Sunday, April 5, 2020

Poem Title: The Isle of Regret ( Prostitution in The Gambia)


Daily,

I always sail off to the forbidden seas

of pleasure before money

allowing the bees of temptation mercilessly suck my honey.

Standing shamelessly on the highway,

I'll plead

For customers, unashamedly

like Africell customer care agents

Uttering cold words of commensuration

To passers-by

to lure them to bed with my looks.

 

 

wearing a very sexy bead on my waist.

Bathed with a whole bottle of perfume

holding my handbag with condoms and tissue paper inside

Complemented by my very short skirt

 

 

I'm my own parent.

My kids have different fathers.

I must get the money anyway!

However, wherever, and whenever

Under any weather, harsh or not,

I must put on my sweater.

 

Hair like a V-12

Do you have hot pants like V-net?

eyes like a seashell

My back is as greasy as some diesel.

They say time is money, which is why men never mistake me for anyone else.

Grab the sauce with the meal.

Breastfeed my breasts

My menu is just so priceless.

 

Cheaply, I sell

Doggie approach to anal and oral sex

To the very oracles of my breast

And sometimes, just offer them my boobs.

 

At the island of regret

I must

Sail like a true sailor

Make different men sew my body like a tailor.

Pound me like a yam.

Drink me like water from a dam, and

make my jaw hurt like a toothache.

 

On the Senegambia's pristine beaches of infatuation

From Bakau to Kololi

Manjai to Kotu Tavern

I must join every caravan.

Join the shameless girls of The Gambia.

Queue in search of money or honey

"Client, what's the matter?"Bem bakh' kaay ma defarr-la

I'll bargain ambitiously.

received by the waves of self-identification

with the pain of regret

due to a lack of purchases on black market days.

 

 

I've had a variety of ticks in my body.

Carrot, yam, cucumber, and even pencil

There is no sorrow.

That is incorrect.

My name, or pain

of the heart that I

I haven't shed any tears or

I haven't cried over it.

I have walked

The hollows, the

Shame-filled roads

Drowned in the shallows,

Drank in all sex positions.

 

I declare that I am of all colors.

While I scream the blues...

On bended knee,

I am appealing to appease

Harnessing the energy of the sun

So, I rise from bed and put myself to bed again.

From the shackles of pain

Into the prism of pleasure with money to take home

Sometimes I'll get only D200 for the entire day.

and sometimes more.

I charge D200 per round.

And D500 for the entire night. 


Disclaimer: All descriptions in this poem are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The image below isn't own by or representing any Gambian woman, dead or alive! 

I got my inspiration to write this poem from the picture below. But I was completely compelled to depicting real life events in The Gambia, based on what I see every day and night when I go out for a drink at Senegambia.

Drop your comments please! 




 My special wishes to you! To schedule or book me for public lectures/ book launches/ conferences/ readings/ scriptwriting/ keynote/motivational speaking events, please email:


modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com



 © All Rights Reserved! Thank you for reading and following my blog. Should you wish to use any of my articles for research, lectures, personal use, etc.,.. kindly address your message to: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com. Copying any of my articles without written permission is an infringement of Copyright.

Featured Post

Honeymoon (Poem by Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe)

Disclaimer: Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe doesn't own this picture, and permission is therefore sought from the copyright owner. We met i...