Sohorr ak Íŋyaŋ: 5 Reasons Why The Gambia is Underdeveloped

A seed grows without noise but a tree falls with a big noise. Destruction has noise but creation is silent. That is the power of knowledgeable people living in a country. The fastest way to become very knowledgeable in The Gambia, is to say nothing before you're sure you said something. Before you try to put out a wildfire on a mountain, go and ask the hunter how it started. How people naturally are, that's exactly the type of leader God chooses for them. But that can only be known and understood by those with wisdom - especially divine wisdom. It's only in the Gambia people celebrate you when you die and jealously fight you when you're alive - even if you did nothing to them. In The Gambia, I see public speakers who don't acknowledge people's words when they use them and don't give credits or quote them in their speeches. As if that's not enough: it is only in The Gambia you'll see people become writers for the sake of writing for 'presidential gains' or write for fame, - or see self-proclaimed journalists who know nothing about journalism.

If you want to see musicians who don't actually know music, rappers who don't make sense at all, comedians who can't make anyone laugh, and see people who always start what they cannot finish; come to The Gambia. In addition, in case you are looking for cabinet ministers who can't correctly address any public, leaders and directors without visions, The Gambia is the place for your research. Mind you, if you want to see women working in high offices they don't deserve at all, for example, if you're interested in seeing what happens the very moment one becomes a permanent secretary or a cabinet minister; the answer is: he immediately marries a second wife, or add more wives-- and forget his past. Why will people who can help you when you're alive wait until you die before they can buy you a bag of rice?

Do you know why The Gambia is underdeveloped? Because of these reasons:

1. Jealousy and Hatred,

2. Tribalism,

3. Hypocrisy and Pride;

4. Discrimination and;

5. Whom You Know.

Lessons to learn about The Gambia and Gambians: when Sir Dawda Kairaba Jawara died, the entire country celebrated him, but ignored him when he was alive. In The Gambia, people always want to know your problem but will never help you solve them. They always want to know what you're up to so that they can destroy it. People you don't share the same school with never celebrate you because they always claim they don't know you. They don't succeed in what they are doing, and so, intend the same for those succeeding. Jobs are based on 'Whom You Know' and not what you know. Politics in The Gambia is based on tribalism ( tribal-politics). Gambians take too much pride but they never made it to the World Cup. The Wollof word 'Sohorr ak Íŋyaŋ'; which loosely translates in Mandinka as 'Haasidia ning Jaawya', are but the very reasons our country is underdeveloped.

It breaks my heart heartrendingly, it sources the rivulets of my eyes painstakingly, and it concerns me patriotically, whenever I see highly talented people wasting in The Gambia. Like I said in my poetry book ( Temple of Wisdom), if you go to a country where people eat in their eyes, don't eat with your nose. If the eye cannot see what the heart encounters, the mind knows best. Let me still take back my quotations: the secret of the mouth is best known by the chewing stick.

What else do I see with my silent eyes anytime I join public transport or go out, I see that what you study in school, and what you end up becoming, are not even the same In The Gambia. I see the River Gambia lacking fish and the turtles living on land. I see hard working men and women who are very poor but very respectful and religious. I even noticed that I see the sick curing those very well, I see potential youths who're jobless, I see teachers teaching our children satanism, and our education system dominated by foreign books and foreign teachers. Should I add that I also see married men and public officials sleeping around with young girls in hotels? Maybe, I should also mention married women sleeping around with men.

Ask me what else do I see? I see people mistake indecent dressing for awareness, such that a dress meant for the bedroom, will be worn and taken to the market. I see police officers who don't know the law, I see that the culture of peace, love and unity I left in my country four years ago, is not the same at all. I see the culture of silence-- and silence then became the culture. I see women raped and their rights violated. I see what's wrong being considered very right. And I see the blind leading the deaf, I see knowledgeable people who're silent with their wisdom, I see a nation without a fence and citizens driving around in the car of lost.

Finally, I realize that those we term knowledgeable don't know anything.

Gambians will only celebrate you when you die. I know people in relationships who love someone else but still in the same relationship. I know people who love each other but aren't meant to together.

So, my point is, everything in life happens according to the timing of God. Don't look at some of your friends and think that they're ahead of you. Maybe, some of them are only enjoying everything here and won't have absolutely nothing at all in the life Hereafter.

 Hope you learn something from this bitter-truth?

© All Rights Reserved! Thank you for reading and following my blog. Should you wish to use any of my articles for research, lectures, personal use, etc., kindly address your message to: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com. My special wishes for you!

To schedule or book me for public lectures/ book launches/ conferences/ readings/ script-writing/ keynote/motivational speaking events, please email:

 modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com

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Marriage and Divorce in The Gambia

Have you ever asked yourself why divorce is rampant in the Gambia? It's because of the lack of sexual intimacy and many more things we'll discuss here.

Sadly, newlywed couples are separating every month in the Gambia with a velocity that is unstoppable but not unquestionable. Why marriage in the first place? Because it is a social necessity—because through marriage, families are established—and the family is the fundamental unit of our society. Furthermore, marriage is the only legitimate or 'halal' way to indulge in intimacy between a man and a woman. The Gambia, the Smiling Coast of Africa, which smiles because of its women, is a place where women have fewer financial means, lower living standards, and less equality with men.

Something isn't just right at all for Gambian women.

The most common causes of divorce in the Gambia are:

• Unfaithfulness in Marriages.
• High expectations...
• Lack of trust...
• Interference from Third Parties (In-Laws).
• Lack of sexual intimacy
• Lack of communication.
• Abuse and domestic violence...

This article gives you an insight into why, how, when, and whom Gambian women want to choose or marry. They demand respect and love. And when their husbands fall short, one should know that it is not only Gambian women who are the ones driving this new culture of breakups. Men, too, and their families contribute to over 65% of divorces in the Gambia.

More recently, having spoken with academics, GBoS, and Family Planning representatives, it is estimated that in 2018, the lifelong probability of a marriage ending in divorce is 60%–50%.

How?

1. THE IN-LAWS': Interference from Third Parties

In most marriages in the Gambia, the family of the man gives Gambian women tough times in their marriages. This suddenly leads to conflicts or divorces. This is very common in extended families where the man, for example, is the breadwinner of the family. But, yes, women also play a key role in divorces in the Gambia—we don't expect a woman to come into a family and separate them. Make a man disrespect his mother and hate his own family. The general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love each other, produce children, and live in peace and tranquility according to the commandments of Allah.

Marriage serves as a means of emotional and sexual gratification and as a means of tension reduction. It is also a form of Ibadah (worship) because it is part of obeying Allah and his messengers, i.e., marriage is seen as the only possible way for two sexes (male and female) to unite. One could choose to live in sin; however, by choosing marriage, one is displaying obedience to Allah. In case you are wondering how in-laws ruin marriages in the Gambia, you should know that they make a man hate his wife or mistreat her.

They control everything about their son's marriage and jealously watch over his wife. Especially if the in-laws do not accept the marriage at the beginning—and/or you still went into it—they make you live in the very depths of hell. Not only in-laws, sometimes it could even be friends. Your very best friends can ruin your marriage in the Gambia.

Who?

2. THE SEMESTERS AND HIGH EXPECTATIONS:

Young women now go into marriages with certain expectations. If these expectations are not met at some point, then divorce is inevitable. Most Gambian women prefer semesters as husbands; as a result, there is always a breakdown of communication, which eventually leads to separations because Gambian women desire to be loved, touched, and spoiled with affection rather than bathed in money. To add expensive fuel to the hot engine of dissatisfaction, most students who make some money abroad will just hurriedly come back home and get married within two weeks or so. How on earth do you expect such marriages to work well for eternity?

The rabbit eats carrots, but he knows that the sweet potato is sweeter, says Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe.

Sexual intimacy can grab your wife, and she needs to get it. My brother, imagine your wife is a virgin, and you already made her know a man, and you left her here and returned to Europe or the USA. Now that your wife has a car, big houses, she owns a shop with good business, etc., don't you think something very important is fundamentally missing?

And if she sits for 6 months plus and she doesn't get it (satisfaction), bros, you're in trouble. Thunder fire you there for thinking because you even send her money every month. That's why she can sit and wait for you for the next 5 years or more. Are you not yourself questionable? How do you hold yourself there for six months, sometimes two years, or more? Can you swear to the Holy Qur'an that you never touched any woman there? Sir, let's talk about your wife now. I'm done with you! Let's talk about unfaithfulness in marriage. From what I cited above, she can be unfaithful to you because women think sex is food. Not all of them, though, to be honest. The world is now all about sex and temptation.

When women sit patiently and wait for several months or years, If things don't work well for them, they begin to drink pills. But that's the least they can do. Imagine they dress so fine every day and drive to work or just walk down to the market, and no man even tells them you're beautiful for six months. And one day, 'ndeysaane', she goes to the market, and one foolish boy tells her, 'yannyi nice', she will be flattered, and that's the beginning of something. Most marriages don't work because there is either no trust or no satisfaction. At least, if a woman is a virgin, she can control herself a bit, but someone you made a woman and left her here just like that is impossible. But not all of them, because some of them are good women and can control themselves. But listen,'some', I said.

Why?

3. FINANCIAL PROBLEMS AND CONFLICTS.

A man should not marry if he does not have the means of maintaining a wife and a future family, if he has no sex drive, if he dislikes children, or if he feels the marriage will seriously affect his religious obligation. But most Gambian men, especially the semesters, don't think about this. They will just come home with some money and do a very big wedding, which will be the talk of the country for months, and upon their return, problems will start surfacing in their marriages, especially financial problems. Women love men who are loyal to them, but my brother, if you come home and spend money like Dangote on your wedding day, you already rang a bell that must continue ringing in your marriage. And when your wife discovers that things are not working in her favor, she either cheats on you or takes a divorce. I think it is better to do a very simple wedding where there is true love and respect. That, she can understand. She will know what you have or lack. And in so doing, she might patiently wait for you until you return or have something better. But if you have already shown her the other way around upon your return to Europe or the USA, you hardly send her money; that's your fault, not the woman. The general principle is that the prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) enjoined his followers to marry. He said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." This hadith is narrated by Anas. Islam greatly encourages marriage because it shields one from and upholds the family unit, which Islam places great importance on.

What?

4. SELECTING WRONG PARTNERS

Over the years, Gambian women will shun pious men of integrity and marry semesters. But now they are giving that a second thought. After a few years in their marriages, they will realize that they have selected the wrong partner, and so the marriage will be ruined. The choice of a partner should be the one with the most "taqwa" (piety). The prophet S.A.W. recommended the suitors see each other before going into marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing about each other. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the Gambia to understand this point. e.g., couples that have known each other for years, are intimate, live together, and so on, yet somehow, this does not guarantee the success of their marriages. Romance and love simply to do not equate to an everlasting bond between two people.

Fact: Romance and love die out very quickly when we have to deal with the real world. The unrealistic expectations that young people have are what often contribute to the failure of their relationships.

This is because people are blinded by physical attraction and, thus, do not choose a compatible partner. Love blinds people to potential problems in a relationship. There is an Arabic saying that says, "The mirror of love is blind.".

Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions but rather on a critical evaluation of the compatibility of couples. This is why they often prove successful. Most marriages in the Gambia got ruined because of incompatibility. How can an ordinary Android charger charge an iPhone? Impossible!

Therefore, marriage requires finding the right person you are compatible with and ready to spend the rest of your life with. Although most people encounter challenges because they marry extremely beautiful women whom every man wants or the most handsome men every woman wants for herself, as a result, there is always misunderstanding, jealousy, lack of trust, etc.

 

© All Rights Reserved! Thank you for reading and following my blog. Should you wish to use any of my articles for research, lectures, personal use, etc., kindly address your message to: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com. Copying any of my articles without written permission is an infringement of copyright.

My special wishes to you! To schedule or book me for public lectures, book launches, conferences, readings, scriptwriting, keynotes, or motivational speaking events, please email:

modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com

 

Poem Title: The Isle of Regret ( Prostitution in The Gambia)

Daily,

I always sail off to the forbidden seas

of pleasure before money

allowing the bees of temptation mercilessly suck my honey.

Standing shamelessly on the highway,

I'll plead

For customers, unashamedly

like Africell customer care agents

Uttering cold words of commensuration

To passers-by

to lure them to bed with my looks.

 

 

wearing a very sexy bead on my waist.

Bathed with a whole bottle of perfume

holding my handbag with condoms and tissue paper inside

Complemented by my very short skirt

 

 

I'm my own parent.

My kids have different fathers.

I must get the money anyway!

However, wherever, and whenever

Under any weather, harsh or not,

I must put on my sweater.

 

Hair like a V-12

Do you have hot pants like V-net?

eyes like a seashell

My back is as greasy as some diesel.

They say time is money, which is why men never mistake me for anyone else.

Grab the sauce with the meal.

Breastfeed my breasts

My menu is just so priceless.

 

Cheaply, I sell

Doggie approach to anal and oral sex

To the very oracles of my breast

And sometimes, just offer them my boobs.

 

At the island of regret

I must

Sail like a true sailor

Make different men sew my body like a tailor.

Pound me like a yam.

Drink me like water from a dam, and

make my jaw hurt like a toothache.

 

On the Senegambia's pristine beaches of infatuation

From Bakau to Kololi

Manjai to Kotu Tavern

I must join every caravan.

Join the shameless girls of The Gambia.

Queue in search of money or honey

"Client, what's the matter?"Bem bakh' kaay ma defarr-la

I'll bargain ambitiously.

received by the waves of self-identification

with the pain of regret

due to a lack of purchases on black market days.

 

 

I've had a variety of ticks in my body.

Carrot, yam, cucumber, and even pencil

There is no sorrow.

That is incorrect.

My name, or pain

of the heart that I

I haven't shed any tears or

I haven't cried over it.

I have walked

The hollows, the

Shame-filled roads

Drowned in the shallows,

Drank in all sex positions.

 

I declare that I am of all colors.

While I scream the blues...

On bended knee,

I am appealing to appease

Harnessing the energy of the sun

So, I rise from bed and put myself to bed again.

From the shackles of pain

Into the prism of pleasure with money to take home

Sometimes I'll get only D200 for the entire day.

and sometimes more.

I charge D200 per round.

And D500 for the entire night. 

Disclaimer: All descriptions in this poem are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The image below isn't own by or representing any Gambian woman, dead or alive! 

I got my inspiration to write this poem from the picture below. But I was completely compelled to depicting real life events in The Gambia, based on what I see every day and night when I go out for a drink at Senegambia.

Drop your comments please! 

 My special wishes to you! To schedule or book me for public lectures/ book launches/ conferences/ readings/ scriptwriting/ keynote/motivational speaking events, please email:

modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com

 © All Rights Reserved! Thank you for reading and following my blog. Should you wish to use any of my articles for research, lectures, personal use, etc.,.. kindly address your message to: modoulaminsowe1@hotmail.com. Copying any of my articles without written permission is an infringement of Copyright.