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I stand beneath the heavenly radiance of the sun,
Islam on my right, Christianity on my left,
Jesus and Muhammad beside me,
and my concubine somewhere in the shadows.
My sins have been washed clean,
my batteries fully charged.
My jaws ache from chewing raw human flesh;
I stagger drunk on the blood of beasts and men.
Baal served me a feast,
and I have wandered through evil
morning, noon, and night.
I see both darkness and daylight.
Perhaps that's why I'm lean, restless, and awake.
Satan once told:
"Only an intellectual knows that the word
'live' becomes evil when read backwards."
Yet my grandmother never fed on evil.
A king is rarely accessible,
yet every letter sent to the State House begins with the word,
"Your Excellency."
Men without purpose
are destroyed by women with too many choices.
A cow that gives no milk
shouldn't be eating your grass.
Politics glanced at my bank account
and lifted her skirt.
Religion humbled me,
and only then did the preaching begin.
I know exactly why I'm here.
How about you?
To die rich and famous—
was it worth the price?
I have read the devil's scriptures
from Genesis to Al-Baqarah.
When someone is drowning,
that is not the time
to teach them how to swim.
Dive into the holy water—
swim, swam, swum.
Go ask Donald Trump.
Either you obey the rules
or we come and take your life.
Your soul already belongs to us.
Have you told your wife?
The demons in my dreams
can both cook and bite.
I made Jesus walk.
I'll never go to hell.
Chew the babies,
chase the ladies.
People are collecting degrees from Harvard,
while you're waving makeup certificates
from Jarra Soma.
All this silence
was once called love.
But who killed the beautiful dove?
My name invades the world
like a terabyte.
My books spread faster
than meningitis.
Sons of bastards,
cut the grass
and let the snakes reveal themselves.
Geoffrey Chaucer prophesied me—
three beings live inside me:
a human,
a jinn,
and a devil.
I don't converse
with men who shock virgins.
I am the pen with the medicine,
scribbling prescriptions in penicillin.
I'm too busy building my future
to throw stones
at every barking dog.
I need no introduction to bloom.
I've made it difficult
for many of you to function.
Not every lubricant
requires a condom.
If there's a pregnancy,
I'll hand you pills for abortion.
I have no time for empty talk.
Your joints aren't strong enough—
you're lacking calcium.
You can't afford this potassium.
Still, let me pour holy water on your face
before I give you a space.
Beware of the life I live.
Things don't just happen.
Everything happens for a reason.
But if things happen for a reason,
why am I always the one giving?
My soul is not for sale,
nor has it been sold.
Yet angels still believe
the truth I told.
I never mix business with pleasure,
nor do I treat your lies as leisure.
Jesus has returned.
The ground is trembling.
Go study the origins
of Kunta Kinteh.
You say seeing is believing—
Can you not still see the Holy Ghost?
Not everything that glitters is gold,
yet we all long to shine.
You bite the hands
that feed you.
You sinned against the God of Heaven.
That is why you must be born again
and forgiven.
Take off your sandals.
Can you smell the fire burning?
I am starved of reactions.
Islam never crucified me—
put your rosary down.
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