IF I WERE A GIRL ( A Poem )

If I Were A Girl:

No man will touch my breast

I'll not wear a bra and don't need an iPhone

That will make my breast strong and smell like an old lady

I'll look young and intelligent like Mariama Willams

My lips will be just too resilient

My curves will be all curved at their right curves

Only my husband will suckle from my breast

My children can go drink water

Water is meant for them

See me see hoodies and hot pants

But, I'll veil my head, I beg!

If I Were A Girl:

I'll only fall for ML

And fall in love with ML

Only he understands my body

I'll not wear perfume quite often

Bcoz I smell sweet and delicious

My eyes will be so ablaze and flirting

I will wash my pants daily bcoz dreams can make them dirty

Won't I be very sexy in a white towel?

Tell me, Sarjo Saidykhan, how will I look in a black blouse

Complemented with a pink-heel and pink short-skirt?

How about my cat walk?

Will Nelson Mandela fall for me? 

I'm flattered!

Oh really, me, ML rek ci halleh, hana Ya-Ida Jobe

I know my onions and can get any man I want.

If I Were A Girl:

I want to have eyes like Beyonce

Breast like Kim Kardashian

Height like Rihanna

Voice like Adele

Bottoms like Nicki Minaj

Walk like Nadia Buhari

Cook like Asiatou Bah

And then slim like Halima Touray.

Won't I kill a battalion of soldiers when I pass them by?

Will Wayne fall for me?

Imagine seeing me in pink or white tiers?

Would you like to touch my hips?

I'll fry you chips

I won't fix my nails all by myself

My husband can do that.

If I Were A Girl:

I'll be the cure to all madmen

When I visit the psychiatric center

Madmen who place their hands on me

I'll know they're not mad and want something.

If I Were A GIRL:

Moyen, haarlen ma laka Wolof yu sett;

Holal, damai defarr bem bakh

Tehci taabakh beh ci kaw

Suma nyullai balai danel yow Lady ML Sowe

Maima suma jamma,

Randul dama yakamti,

Suma don jigeen; damai sanseh ak churai ni Tanta Fatou

Bolehci firr ni Mr. Fatou

Teh holal, baah ni Ya-Fatou Sowe

If I Were A Girl:

I'll not date anyone

I'll only date presidents bcoz they're not hot

Their wives are not also romantic

I'll always have at least six chapsticks stocked up

I will never buy cheap jeans

And won’t chase boys

I'll treat my hair with wrinkle spray and a hairdryer

Spend a little extra money on my makeup

Get a nice strapless or “sticky bra”

Never neglect painting my toenails

I'll never chew my gum

Can pull off the red lipstick and rock it off in my dreams with ML

We will have three types of wardrobe: 

One for pants and hoodies only

Two: for kitties and pieces of jewelry

Three: for all types of dresses

I'll go shop at TJ Maxx and Marshalls

If I Were A Girl:

I'll wear “boob tape” with strapless dresses

I won't need 20 candid photos of me

Pulling up my dress on the dance floor at a formal event

I'll dance my hottest to my husband in our bedroom

Turn my house into a club, take the children to bed, and be my DJ

Will my husband like Jaliba Kuyateh's songs?

What about "Sabarr"?

Then, if he hates all

I can play any Surah from the Quran

We perform ablution, pray and sleep separately

I'll dress my husband myself and give him time to go to work, and time to close from work

Do you think my husband will be mad enough to get a second wife?

Man niiro nala kui am wujah?

Are you looking at me very well sah yow?

I'll kill him and add my name on the Guinness Book of World Records.

If I Were A Girl:

I'll be a good mother

Raise my daughter

Eat elderly cake and butter, and then wash boxers.

I'll never cry went giving birth

Bcoz my husband will be pregnant for me

That's to show how much I'll love him

I'll never feel the pain of mensuration

Will get a microwaveable heat pad

Use my calendar on my phone for reminders

I'll have too many pairs of underwear

Buy as many as I want

Take bubble baths

Look natural in photos and smile with my teeth

Care for my skin

Be dark and pretty like Amie F. Jeng

And beautiful like Mariatou Bah

I won't carry handbags anywhere I go

I'll carry only my lipstick to take any good husband who's heart-broken

If I Were A Girl:

Only I will recognize a husband from a date

They are not the same, ladies.

Note: this poem was inspired by this photo. The poet, Modou Lamin Age-Almusaf Sowe, brings back old memories of his past in this romantically hilarious poem by mentioning names of some of his former students at Masroor Senior Secondary School, etc.

He also cited notable friends and well-wishers such as Halima Touray, Asiatou Bah, etc. 

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